Where is Justice?

Warning: This is the blogger's personal opinion based on her views and experiences, you've been warned that there might be some form of man-hating or very feminist approach in this page, especially the men of her race. 

We all scream for equality. Women are most likely to scream for equality, but we do know that some men are also screaming for one too, especially when a man seemed to be unattractive as they are usually associated with being a pervert even though they are not. So the question is what were the instances that both sexes experienced injustice in this world?

Society's Unequal Acceptance

Where is justice when it is okay for a man to cheat with somebody else yet for women it would automatically be associated with being a whore? I remembered when somebody argued that women are using the men's money to cheat that is why it is not acceptable in society. However even if the women use her own hard-earned money to cheat, it would be the same thing. In this situation, I remembered a story about how a woman would allow herself to cheat with a married man; and yet if she cheated with other men (thinking she is single and she is the other woman in their current situation anyway), the married man, whom the woman had relationship with, would call degrading names to a woman already.

Various reasons on why it's okay for men to cheat for some people, many thought that it's part of a man's gene to cheat. They say, men cannot help but to cheat, or it is only normal for them to do such thing as it is part of the man's nature and if they don't, they would deem as having gay tendencies. Another thing people say is that men are using their own hard-earned money to use it with other women they're cheating with; therefore, women have no rights to complain about it. However on the side of females, if they intend to do that, they would automatically be associated with being a whore or prostitute, while for men such association doesn't exist - in fact it is an ego booster for them to be associated in one indicating that they have strong masculine tendencies as they had a strong sense of magnetizing attractive women by their side. Even during biblical times wherein women are treated as second class, these men can even have two wives during those times while a woman committing the same sin will be stoned to death. Where is justice?

Masculinity Issues

Where is justice when a woman can't get satisfied no matter how hard the man labored just to give something for a woman he loves? Traditionally, men are expected to be gentlemen, they are expected to pay when they are going to a date with a woman. There are some women who are considerate in terms of knowing that they should not spend lavishly on something, while other women are mostly being thought as gold diggers, which unfortunately is true in some cases.

If a woman's confidence would grow based on the number of her admirers, a man's confidence would grow based on his ability to show off his masculinity such as ability to pay for dinner, etc. The issue in today's world is that because of a closer gap in inequality between men and women, both men and women have an equal pay especially when both have the same level of competence in their respective fields. Before, men have higher pay compared with women; therefore it is only proper for a man to treat the women in dates since the woman would generally end up being a housewife. However, today there are cases wherein men even got a lower pay than women. 

So how would women respond to this issue if they have higher income? It seemed like women need to balance the ego tendencies of men in order to really not look bad in a situation. A traditionalist/gold-digging mentality woman would not consider the man's financial resources for as long as she is being satisfied would not only hurt the man financially, but also his ego if he keep on failing to satisfy the woman's desires, especially when it comes to giving her gifts. This kind of woman would even act like a brat if she does not get what she wants. However, a strong independent woman would insist on splitting the bill as it would mean that they are not gold diggers in the eyes of men, but doing that would hurt the ego of men and these men would think that this woman is inconsiderate of a man's masculinity. 

If a man treated a woman in a cheap restaurant or insist that they split the bill, he is deemed to be cheap. If a man would treat a woman lavishly, he's being viewed as someone who will use his money to buy love for a woman especially when the man is unattractive to women. Where is justice?

Conditional Love and Prestige

Where is justice wherein unconditional love between lovers only exist on one side or none at all? Sadly, most of us live in a world wherein everything revolves on a conditional love. In movies and series, main characters with large socio-economic gap would be deemed as loving each other unconditionally that made people think that such love exist. If the story in the movies/series was mimicked in the real world, would we still have the same ending? Yes, it's still possible but common sense would tell majority of the people that it's not. When a man is attracted to a woman with a much lower income class, even if he is not attractive, common sense would tell the woman to accept the man even if he's ugly because that would be the only way for her family to level up their social status, to get out of poverty. So do we think that the man here would marry the woman because he loves her even if she's poor? It's true that the man is richer so we can say that this man is loving her unconditionally; however, usually women are attractive and men had a tendency to use women as a form of trophy wife or a means to show-off these women to their friends. It's a matter of each one benefiting the other by deciding to be together even if they really do not love each other - unconditionally.

We already heard numerous stories before, specially in rural areas wherein young women are forced to marry rich old men because of economic hardships. Aside from economic issues, there is also prestige issues. Traditions, especially of Chinese ones put a high value of prestige in which marrying someone not of your race would indicate a lost of social prestige and purity of Chinese blood for your children. The pressure is big especially for men as they are the ones who will be carrying the name of their family and a purity of Chinese bloodline must be ensured. Before, things like arranged marriage exist, but even if couples do not really love each other, such infidelity does not exist. 

Sadly in today's world, some Chinese men would only marry a Chinese girl for the sake of preserving the bloodline and not because they unconditionally love them. In addition, I would admit that even though the beauty of each on of us is unique, the physical beauty of a Filipina is really incomparable that of a Chinese; therefore it is not really surprising if these Chinese men have two women in their lives. One is the one they really love, but cannot marry because of parents' disapproval of race difference and only being brought to events among his friends only as a means of showing off on how beautiful she is; and the other is a girl of his same race that is only being show off in terms of family and prestigious social gathering wherein he is showing the world that he is a good man who married someone of his own race and able to preserve the family's pure bloodline. It also proves the man that he belonged in a prestigious class, while still being able to show off the other girl with his friends for ego boosting. 

In this situation, both women deserve more than what they were experiencing. The Chinese girl deserve someone who would accept her for who she is and not just a mere cover-up for the man's family gatherings because she's Chinese. The Filipina girl, or any girl who is not Chinese also deserves more, she should not blame herself for not being Chinese that's why she cannot be with the man she loves. If the man truly loves her, he will choose her no matter what even if it would mean a loss of inheritance from his parents or his prestigious and social life. Besides, we cannot convince all elders to accept inter-racial marriage as a new norm and if one's family are open-minded then they are lucky to have those kinds of people around them. As the idiomatic expression goes, you can't have your cake and eat it too. However, it seemed these Chinese men have best of both worlds by having at least two women by their side and they can use each one like their chess pieces or as part of their wardrobe wherein they would bring the woman that they think will boost their ego and confidence as a man. Where is justice?

What Can We Do About It?

Both sexes are striving for equality. We had a tendency to hold on to something that would deem advantageous to us. For men, knowing that woman can get permitted to cheat would lose their ego and masculinity as having numerous women would mean that they can no longer guarantee themselves that the women they are cheating with are also not cheating on them too. In addition, knowing that a woman can cheat with men would also make the man more insecure as he can be deemed not man enough for the woman that's why the woman cheated. 

As for women, requiring them to split the bill would mean that they cannot use the money to spend for buying things that would make their image better such as clothing, jewelry, etc. In addition, requiring them to do things on their own without the help of the men would mean that women should not act like brats or princesses just to get something that they want.

This is difficult as both men and women have different framework and approach when it comes to gender equality. I think in order to ensure equality, there should be a communication between two opposing sexes and have a mutual understanding on what is right and wrong especially for a man wherein they are permitted to commit cheating in the eyes of public. It cannot be avoided that there will be some kind of condition when it comes to choosing a mate, however by choosing to be faithful to your partner and treat each other with respect, there would be no qualms for society rallying violence, abuse, and inequality.